Monday, August 23, 2010

Heart to heart

Wow, it's been a while since my last post. So many things happens to me during this past few days.

Well, why did I put up the "Heart-to-heart" as my topic???

Had a heart-to-heart talk after maghrib prayers to Aida, Afiqah, Ariffin and Amir (wonder he actually understand what I am trying to say to him... he's too playful and unattentive). Abang wasn't around, he had to go to Lumut with Jeya Sunday afternoon after I had my Solat Tasbih. I had to have this heart-to-heart conversation with all of them because there seems to be a lot or disrespect among this siblings. Between Aida and Afiqah, Ariffin with Afiqah and even between Amir with the elders. I emotionally spoke to them and seek for forgiveness because I feel that I have failed to initiate this earlier. After a long emotional talk, I have ask them to seek forgiveness between themselves and embrace one and another. I notice Ariffin looks like he's going to cry but he held back his tears. Al least he is aware of what is wrong and he participated in the process of seeking forgiveness and embracing her sisters.

Early the Sunday morning, me and mak attended solat tasbih and hajat headed by Ustaz Wan Zawawi at the nearest masjid at my place; Masjid Darun Muttaqin, Klang. The imam led the jemaah firstly with dzikir which really brings tears to our eyes. Guess all present were emotionally reminded of our past sins and were all felt remorse over the bad deeds. How can we guarantee our places in heaven with all that??? Therefore, all muslims are all reminded to perform the solat tasbih as frequent as possible; everyday, otherwise once a week, if not possible once a month, still not possible once a year or if still not possible do it once in a lifetime. The solat helps to wash all your past sins, the current ones and even the future ones, isn't that beautiful. That is why, Islam is beautiful... you need no third party to listen to your sins and get it pardon. When you have created sins to Allah, only He has the right to pardon and not anybody else. Alhamdullillah Allah, for giving me the takdir of being born into a muslim family.

Something unpleasant happens to us last Saturday.... we (me, abang and Aida) were talking about what we are going to have for sahur. Told my abang, we have had fried rice, egg sandwich,.. I am out of idea of what to prepare for sahur... so we were so called having a small argument. The I adjourned to bed but I remember to set the alarm at 3a.m. to get up for my tahajjud, taubat and probabaly my solat hajat. But when we woke up it was already 6.30a.m., to late to haev our sahur. I didn't even heard teh alarm. There and then I realize HE is probably angry with us for having such a stupid argument of what to have for sahur. It really makes me realise, HE has the power to do as he likes when he wants and what he likes because HE creates all of us and do all you can to please your Creator because He knows best for his subjects. I learn my lesson well.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

I'm worried

My 3rd,  Afiqah has been complaining of her headache for 2 days now, her teacher called as school has just started yesterday and the class is just getting ready for their test. Afiqah has been crying and complaining about her headache so abang took her home. If it's because of her vision problem, we have rectify that and has made glasses for her and it was extremely high power (400++) for a std 4 having such high power glasses. As for me at this age of 40++ and my glasses is 525++. What could have been the headache??? According to abang, she came back from school last Monday in soaking wet from her religious school and she did not take her bath immediately. Could that have been the cause for it???

Talking about wearing glasses, now there are already 5 members in my family wearing glasses. Me and abang of course, Aiman, Aida and now there's Afiqah. Is it hereditory??? It is not cool to wear thick glasses actually and throughout my 45++ years minus 11 years because I start wearing glasses in Form One (12years old), it has been thousand spent on glasses and probably a few hundreds spent on lenses. It's been a hassle having to put aside your vision but it also a blessing when I will put away my vision not wanting to look at dirty places or things that I want to avoid looking. Ha...ha....

Anyway, back to Afiqah's problem, will definitely have to take to the doctor for a check-up, at least to make sure nothing is serious.One thing I notice about Afiqah, she can never stand any pain. Unlike her sister, Aida or even her brothers Aiman, Ariffin and even Amir, they can withstand pain. Ariffin and Amir will only cry if the pain is unbearable. For Afiqah, a little blood can break her. But she is very good at expressing her love and compassionate to others especially me and abang and definitey to her nenek (grandmother).

When you have 5 children in the house, you will experience 5 wonderful and also 5 painful characters from all of them. That I will definitely cherish and miss them when they have already grown up and start to leave the house starting their own family then. That is life....

Monday, August 16, 2010

Umi, doakan orang (Umi pray for me)

Early morning about 7.17a.m. while reciting the Quran, got a message from my Aiman :

"Umi, doakan org dpt jwb ngan tnang time peksa (Umi, pray so I am able to answer my exam with calm)"

I was very touched as he is on his way to the exam to sit for his trial. I pray Aiman be blessed with confidence when answering his exams questions. Then he called me while I was waiting for my job interview at Port Klang, Afraid the interviewer will walk in anytime, message him to ask about how he did for his exam. Then called his message : BM Paper 1 & 2, ok but Peng Islam susah (difficult). I can only pray he did his best.

On the other hand, I pray I got the job in Port Klang. The travelling and driving from my house to Kelana Jaya, stuck in the jam almost everyday going and coming back from office makes my legs cramp and jam as well. Furthermore, nothing much can be expected here but will miss all the adiks here. Well, have to think about myself and family first before others. To this new place, it's only 10 minutes drive.... save my petrol, save my toll.... most importantly save my time. Well, watever it is, have to wait for the 2nd interview. All the best to me.

Ohya, haven't been taking my Vemma for a while now. Need the boost of energy especially during this fasting month. Feeling very sleepy during driving to work this morning... so dangerous

Sunday, August 15, 2010

A fullfilling weekend

Friday nite ; Aiman is back for the weekend, pity him he has to break his fasting in the commuter, from KL Central to Teluk Gadung station (nearest stop to our house). Since abang has to pick him up at the station, we cancel our plan to go for tarawikh that night. Furthermore, it was raining heavily from maghrib onwards. As usual, me and family broke our fast at Mak's house (where else cos Saiful has already left to Malacca to be with his wife and daughtter, Cik Ah for the weekend).

After maghrib, abang shoot to the commuter station to Aiman and as usual Amir wailing to follow up and as usual Aida to the rescue.

Yesterday, I am pleased with myself; manage to wake up early 3.30am to do my solat tahajud then solat taubat and lastly before adjourning for my sahur managed to do solat hajat. Then by 5.00 am wake up the crew to have sahur. Then take a rest, 6.30a.m. did my solat fajr, solat sunat and then subuh, and continue with solat dhuha and I completed my solat tasbih. What a morning and I cried reciting my doa after tasbih. It really made me feel small and helpless infront of you. I have many many doa and remorse being given this life for almost 45 years now. Thank you Allah for the life, the waking up and finding myself well and alive to continue another day (though passing 40 now body aches when over-used of my body, hik3x).

After completed all my solat, take a bath and continue to cut the cloth for Ariffin @Ippin's and Amir's baju raya (well the time completed both, only baju) I was really exhausted but had to do my marketing so again Aida to the rescue (luckily I had abang to leave the bike and drive the clk - cute little kancil instead to work). I have plan for these menu for buka puasa : chicken soup, fried brinjal with chilli, butter prawn (taste great but the looks... the bird's nest didn't really turn out fine) and finally spring roll (till untilo having my buka puasa, has to go to the kitchen to finish up frying the spring roll. Mak came and she brought murtabak (hey, she made a new recipe murtabak using maggi) and brinjal pajeri . Then me and abang off to tarawikh. it was great cos we have Ustaz Zahazan giving tazkirah and was told he will give another tazkirah after subuh the next morning` (i.e. today)

Today after again I did my tahujud and taubat and then woke the crew up and Ippin as usual had problem to have his sahur. Well I had to feed him, as long he wants to fast I'm happy with that. Stomach upet again this morning then rush to have our solat jemaah for subuh and to listen to Ustaza zaharan morning tazkirah. I learn a lot of things today but I should have brought my note book to jot down the important notes. Well I can go his blog to recap (I really hope he does have a blog), otherwise will get his book (hey, I have a bought one of this book, where have i put it). Btw abang is on the way from Gemencheh sending Aiman back (I managed to cook ayam masak kicap for Aiman). I have to rush to the bazaar.

Btw, not happy reading on Salleh Gregor Samsa (this dude and his friends are the few who fail to realize the life that he got is a bestow from Allah's gerenosity). Praying that Allah give him and his friend taufiq and hidayah before it's be too late

Thursday, August 12, 2010

I made my own history today

Wow, dreaming to have my own blog for a long long time and ta...da....I made my own history today. I finally have my own blog. Not that I am not good in writing just that I don't know how to start, what topic to write, and all the procrastinating. So today I made the bold decision to GO FOR IT!!!

It's the 3rd day of Ramadhan today and Alhamdullillah my children has been able to complete the fasting since Monday. I pray for an extraordinary Ramadhan, with plenty of opportunities for me and family to do more ibadah, to gain more barakah and to be blessed with more rezeki from HIM. Like usual, fasting on the weekdays Bazaar Ramadhan is my kitchen . Don't have much time to cook so just pick and choose and of course pay. You'll be spoilt for choices during ramadhan. Even the non-moslem are having a fair share of trying all the nice foods at the bazaar.

Aida, my 14th year old girl (my second child) has been so helpful, helping me to prepare the rice before she heads to bed for our sahur cos after tarawikh I am normally have few energy left for me to crawl into bed. Thanks Aida, and Umi really appreciate and love you for it (btw this morning's fried rice is a bit hotkan). Umi too having problem with my stomach. Well I'm responsible for it since I did the cooking (luckily we still made it girl). Afiqah, my 10th year old girl(my third child), had rice this time otherwise she'll be calling me by noon to say she wants to break her fast. Hey, look at Ariffin @ Ipin (my 7th year old and he's my fourth), he looks weak (he only took 1 pc of kurma/dates and a glass of plain water for sahur) but after getting his air tembikai (melon juice), fasting is no big deal. Thumbs up Ipin. Amir (4yr old boy, my fifth and youngest), as usual claim to be fasting, the hyperactive one. Do not mention the word VITAGEN (he'll wail till the whole community of Taman Dahlia hears him out). Umi and Ayah do not own the Vitagen factory okay!!!

My eldest son Aiman will be back for the weekend from his hostel MRSM Gemencheh today and he will sitting for his trial PMR (for MARA papers) on Monday. I pray to Allah, Aiman will be given confidence and guidance so that he is prepare to sit for his exams coming Monday.

I consider myself lucky to be blessed, married to a wonderful husband (though our marriage was an arranged one by both of our parents). Guess my friends would not have believed it as most of them know the kind of person I am. But I believe Allah showed me my choice is the his choice after my istikharah and we have been married for 16years now, blessed with 5 kids. Considering of having more kids..... well.... my baby factory is officially closed after Amir ( I was 41 then)

Btw, today I got a new baby angkat (Zie, my bestfriend cum colleague) just delivered a baby girl at the Serdang Hospital. Can't wait to see and hold new born baby, they just smell wonderful (anyway, I can be her makcik angkat).

Abang won't be back for berbuka puasa, he has to work late in PJ. He works very hard and I felt pity for him (Ya Allah, please protect Abang and blessed him with health, wealth and abundance and long life, Amin).

It's raining outside, it has been a hot and sunny day the past few days and can't really sleep during the night. Very very warm.Thanks Allah for cooling off the planet(Kelana Jaya) today.Well, we humans never seems to be satisfied will what Allah has bestowed upon us, always complaining (that is only human). Just remember, God gave us rain because he going to give us sun then.

Hey, not bad for a start. My first page of  'ROS IS MY NAME' ends with a new beginning of my life as a BLOGGER.

There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its 
own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time 
~ Malcolm X ~